Disorder: The Stories

Every song I write has a story behind it. And although I intend for each track to be interpreted on a personal level by the listener, sometimes people ask what they specifically meant to me as they were being created. So here are the stories. I hope you enjoy them:)

My favorite story to tell is that of the song, "Isolated". It was one of my favorite tracks on the album to begin with, and is also one that keeps re-emerging long after the album's release. Recently it's been used on television and a game soundtrack, you can read all about that on the news page. What they know is that it's a pretty emotionally "intense" song. What they don't know is that it was written about a mouse.

Yes, a pet mouse. A "special" mouse I brought home from work. His name was "Carnivorous". But he didn't start out that way. He and a few of his male siblings lived together under my care, very happily for nearly three years which is about the full extent of a normal mouse's life span. Some of his siblings began to pass away of old age, yet Carnivorous and one of his siblings remained. One morning, I woke up to find Carnivorous running on his wheel rather vigorously, and his cage-mate's body was lying on the ground next to him, skull opened, and brain completely missing.

From that day forward, he was named "Carnivorous", and was forced to live out his days isolated in a cage to himself. He lived to be over four years old, before finally grooming himself to death.
Photographic evidence here, not for the weak: The Incident

"Someone" is probably the most spontaneous song I've ever written, really due to a sampling accident and a haze of sleep deprivation more than anything else. It was about 3am, and I was awake working on another track, when I accidentally set my sampler to the wrong setting during playback, and this great-sounding loop came from the speakers. I knew immediately it had to be used for something, and turned on the microphone and started recording live. Anyone with the original version of the demo album, "Embryonic", has this first recording, which later was recreated for the album, "Disorder". The song was an emotional breakthrough for me in a personal situation I'd been dealing with, and I'm grateful to have captured the track as it happened.

Buy "Disorder"