Relapse: The Stories

Chosen Fate
In 2002, I was confronted by someone putting together a political industrial compilation that knew about my association with genetic engineering work and asked if I would write a track about it, so I did. It's turned out to be one of my favorite songs I've written, just because it allowed me to say a lot of things in my music I wouldn't have had the guts to otherwise. As a lover of science fiction, I'm well aware of the fears people have of a race of perfect clone people, or people whose life purpose is war, or political agenda, etc., and this idea of non-individuality is terrifying for most of us. We must keep in mind that the work that exists today is not for this purpose, but to cure disease, heal the injured, and ultimately learn more about ourselves to enhance our quality of life, not to destroy it. There are many questions left unanswered that I couldn't possibly attempt to tackle or even imagine for that matter, but I think the song helps sort out some of my torn emotions, and I hope you enjoy listening to it.

One night soon after the war in Iraq had begun, I was listening to the news and there was a huge thunderstorm outside..for some reason the sound of the rain and the news broadcast sounded strikingly appropriate together, so I pulled out a microphone and a minidisc deck and began recording. Like many Americans, my feelings on our international situation are very confusing. We feel for and want to support our troops. We want to help the people that have suffered and been oppressed overseas, but also feel that what has gone on has been escalated for political interests and is somehow out of our control. After a lot of blog-reading and media bombardment, I put this track together as an exploration of the atmosphere I was experiencing. I hope it does some justice to what others may be feeling as well.

This track is in part influenced by the song "Inside" by TL5, which I remixed for the Divided We Fall was unintentionally yet somehow written in response to the question "What's inside me?" brought up in his track, and just really got me thinking..I also liked the clever use of "X-Ray" as the title as well as a solution, in a theoretical way of examining the soul. It fits the theme of self-discovery that tends to run through my albums, and touches on a sort of spiritual level as well.

Rewind is one of the few tracks on "Relapse" that I believe yields a glimmer of hope for many of us faced with what seems like a never ending struggle. Sometimes I feel that what allows many of us to embrace the darker side of things is the knowledge that change does exist, often when we're not looking for it. I've been fortunate enough to find happiness in many aspects of my life, but often despite this I see nothing but despair. It's important for us to grasp onto what is good during these times, have faith, and not let go.

Ok, so I have issues with time. I never wear a watch because it makes me feel like a prisoner. I like to run on my own schedule. I suppose it's a running theme following the track "Liquefy" on the album Disorder. The lyrics are also partly inspired by the movie Star Trek-"Insurrection", where a world with regenerative properties exists allowing its inhabitants to become immortal.

Embryonic was the title track for my first demo album, written in 1998, and it meant a lot to me to re-record it for this album, "Relapse". Although originally written with similar intentions, I found the timing of this release amusing with the current political perspectives on the "culture of life" ban on stem cell research. You can consider this track a statement of sorts on that issue. Although listeners can take several meanings from the lyrics, it was originally written about a transgenic mouse breeding colony. enjoy listening!

Buy "Relapse"